Forums.NitroExpress.com

Home | Ezine | Forums | Links | Contact NitroExpress.com: How do you Sex a Rifle???

View recent messages : 24 hours | 48 hours | 7 days | 14 days | 30 days | 60 days | More Smilies

*** Enjoy NitroExpress.com? Participate and join in. ***

You are not logged in. [Login]

Main Index · Search · Active Topics
New user · Who's Online · FAQ · Calendar

Double Rifles, Single Shots & Combinations >> Double Rifles

Pages: 1

mickey
.416 member

Reged: 05/01/03
Posts: 4647
Loc: Pend Oreille Valley, Idaho

How do you Sex a Rifle???
#7269 - 22/01/04 04:33 PM

I've always considered rifles to have sex. Not with each other but as an entity. A Double Rifle can be ether Male or Female and, to me it depends on the feel. A bulky 500, 577 or 600 ought to be Male. They are a handful, thick, stout, strong. Manly.

Bore Guns are also Male. Again stout and strong come to mind. Most of them have that underlever thing that swings out. Manly.

A 470 or smaller can be either. Mostly though I think they are female. Long slim barrels, a thin middriff, that cute little lever you push to make it work and a finely grained and perfectly proportioned butt, complete with soft pad. They can also be finicky about what they are fed, and in some cases a real bitch to deal with. Add to the fact that they look really nice all dolled up and you have a feminine rifle. Womanly, lovely to look at and a joy to hold.

Bolt Actions. There okay, and obvioulsly Male with that thing sticking out of the middle of them. I understand that some guys on AR like to play with them but let's not go there.

Lever Actions and Pumps just confuse me.

--------------------
Lovu Zdar
Mick

A Man of Pleasure, Enterprise, Wit and Spirit Rare Books, Big Game Hunting, English Rifles, Fishing, Explosives, Chauvinism, Insensitivity, Public Drunkenness and Sloth, Champion of Lost and Unpopular Causes.

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

luv2safari
.400 member

Reged: 09/11/03
Posts: 1401
Loc: United States

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7270 - 22/01/04 04:40 PM

Easy!...Wait until the "season". If the forearm swells...male...If it shoots all over Hell for no appearant reason...female. Now, don't you feel foolish?

--------------------
Hunt with Class and Classics

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

NitroX
.700 member

Reged: 25/12/02
Posts: 39232
Loc: Barossa Valley, South Australi...

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7275 - 22/01/04 07:39 PM

Mickey

I will send you a PM, as my answer is a little disgusting.

--------------------
John aka NitroX

...
Govt get out of our lives NOW!
"I love the smell of cordite in the morning."
"A Sharp spear needs no polish"

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

mickey
.416 member

Reged: 05/01/03
Posts: 4647
Loc: Pend Oreille Valley, Idaho

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: NitroX]
#7282 - 23/01/04 02:01 AM

Nitr

You are right, disgusting and very basic.

Nitr

's position is that all Doubles are femine and all Bolts are Masculine. You do the math.

--------------------
Lovu Zdar
Mick

A Man of Pleasure, Enterprise, Wit and Spirit Rare Books, Big Game Hunting, English Rifles, Fishing, Explosives, Chauvinism, Insensitivity, Public Drunkenness and Sloth, Champion of Lost and Unpopular Causes.

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

DUGABOY1
.400 member

Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 1340
Loc: TEXAS USA

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7285 - 23/01/04 03:28 AM

In reply to:

Bolt Actions. There okay, and obvioulsly Male with that thing sticking out of the middle of them. I understand that some guys on AR like to play with them but let's not go there.

With a bolt rifle, one either has a knob in his hand, or is pumping something back, and forth!

--------------------
..........Mac >>>===(x)===>
DUGABOY1, and MacD37 founding member of DRSS www.doublerifleshooterssociety.com
"If I die today, I have had a life well spent, for I've been to see the Elephant, and smelled the smoke of Africa!"

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Dark_Helmet
.333 member

Reged: 09/01/04
Posts: 399
Loc: Lincoln, Nebraska, USA

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: DUGABOY1]
#7288 - 23/01/04 05:44 AM

This is a great way to describe the way a gun feels... my Model 700 ADL is male, big, ungainly, not particularly communicative, and rough in its operation.... (although the first two qualify it as my monther-in-law).

my shotgun, a woman. first its name: Ithica. up-down double, slight and fine jewelry (gold trigger and a few other accents), simple sculpting, wonderful to swing, sweet on your shoulder.

as for my Ruger 1-H, definitely male... makes a BIG hole, dishes what it takes, and while some might call it crude, VERY VERY effective.

--------------------
_________________________________________________________________
When someone says a rifle is "ugly," what they really mean is "push feed."

-me

(long live the Mauser 98!)

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

NitroX
.700 member

Reged: 25/12/02
Posts: 39232
Loc: Barossa Valley, South Australi...

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: Dark_Helmet]
#7295 - 23/01/04 10:55 AM

Very esoteric.

Being of simple and direct approach my answer to Mickey was just, two holes or one!

--------------------
John aka NitroX

...
Govt get out of our lives NOW!
"I love the smell of cordite in the morning."
"A Sharp spear needs no polish"

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

mickey
.416 member

Reged: 05/01/03
Posts: 4647
Loc: Pend Oreille Valley, Idaho

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: DUGABOY1]
#7298 - 23/01/04 11:36 AM

In reply to:

Poster: DUGABOY1
Subject: Re: How do you Sex a Rifle???

In reply to:

With a bolt rifle, one either has a knob in his hand, or is pumping something back, and forth!

Don't forget they all talk about short stroking and misfires. What does that mean?

--------------------
Lovu Zdar
Mick

A Man of Pleasure, Enterprise, Wit and Spirit Rare Books, Big Game Hunting, English Rifles, Fishing, Explosives, Chauvinism, Insensitivity, Public Drunkenness and Sloth, Champion of Lost and Unpopular Causes.

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Hauptjäger
.275 member

Reged: 03/01/04
Posts: 94
Loc: Hilo, Hawaii

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7303 - 23/01/04 01:04 PM

Sounds like some folks have just a little too much “pent-up” excitement!

Maybe some quiet time alone would help! … However Mickey does have a point!

--------------------
To a point you can never have too much horsepower!

Hauptjager

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

iqbal
resigned as a member

Reged: 05/02/03
Posts: 778
Loc: Karachi,Pakistan

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7330 - 24/01/04 04:08 AM

All bolt action rifles are male because as you said about the bolt sticking out and all semi autos are female as they go on and on.All lever actions are neither male nor female(something inbetween)because they have a different loading system.

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

DUGABOY1
.400 member

Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 1340
Loc: TEXAS USA

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: iqbal]
#7332 - 24/01/04 04:26 AM

In reply to:

All lever actions are neither male nor female(something inbetween)because they have a different loading system.

Are you saying "lever actions are Hermaphrodites!"?

--------------------
..........Mac >>>===(x)===>
DUGABOY1, and MacD37 founding member of DRSS www.doublerifleshooterssociety.com
"If I die today, I have had a life well spent, for I've been to see the Elephant, and smelled the smoke of Africa!"

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Chasseur
.375 member

Reged: 18/11/03
Posts: 771
Loc: Hunting classic Indian game!

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7334 - 24/01/04 04:39 AM

Mickey that line about "perfectly proportioned butt, complete with soft pad. They can also be finicky about what they are fed, and in some cases a real bitch to deal with."

Had me just about rolling out of my seat!!!

--------------------
In regards to action he should devote himself to hunting...
-Machiavelli

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Dark_Helmet
.333 member

Reged: 09/01/04
Posts: 399
Loc: Lincoln, Nebraska, USA

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: Chasseur]
#7340 - 24/01/04 06:31 AM

more??

Mauser K98 30-06 sporter: well, it has a whacked-off machine-gun barrel, so that's pretty simple.... uhhh, I said "whacked off" [/butthead]

Benelli Montefeltro: female, definitely female, light, communicative, lots of endurance.

personally, I think anything with a "vent rib" qualifies as female... I don't know, its just me.

a starters pistol??? male, definitely male. if fires blanks!

--------------------
_________________________________________________________________
When someone says a rifle is "ugly," what they really mean is "push feed."

-me

(long live the Mauser 98!)

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

mickey
.416 member

Reged: 05/01/03
Posts: 4647
Loc: Pend Oreille Valley, Idaho

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: DUGABOY1]
#7376 - 24/01/04 12:25 PM

In reply to:

Poster: DUGABOY1
Subject: Re: How do you Sex a Rifle???

In reply to:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All lever actions are neither male nor female(something inbetween)because they have a different loading system.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you saying "lever actions are Hermaphrodites!"?

Mac

Wasn't Hermaphrodites some kind of Greek Goddess? The Goddess of Funny Actions?

--------------------
Lovu Zdar
Mick

A Man of Pleasure, Enterprise, Wit and Spirit Rare Books, Big Game Hunting, English Rifles, Fishing, Explosives, Chauvinism, Insensitivity, Public Drunkenness and Sloth, Champion of Lost and Unpopular Causes.

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Rusty
.333 member

Reged: 08/02/03
Posts: 464
Loc: Missouri City, Texas

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: mickey]
#7406 - 25/01/04 01:38 AM

I consider them females. I think PWN375 over on AR said it best when responding to a question posted about what to name a new rifle.
He said He'd name it for his ex-wife. She was beautiful, almost impossible to control and killed everything she came in contact with!

As for me. I am tempted to name mine after an executive producer who knew everything, and couldn't do shit. However I don't want to insult the rifle like that!

--------------------
Rusty
We band of brothers!
DRSS

Edited by Rusty (25/01/04 01:39 AM)

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Dark_Helmet
.333 member

Reged: 09/01/04
Posts: 399
Loc: Lincoln, Nebraska, USA

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: Dark_Helmet]
#7520 - 27/01/04 04:36 AM

In reply to:

a starters pistol??? male, definitely male. if fires blanks!

3

... or are they just fake orgasms????

--------------------
_________________________________________________________________
When someone says a rifle is "ugly," what they really mean is "push feed."

-me

(long live the Mauser 98!)

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

atkinson6
.375 member

Reged: 26/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Idaho

Re: How do you Sex a Rifle??? [Re: Dark_Helmet]
#7838 - 30/01/04 03:35 PM

Jeez man thats easy, just like a cat, two holes, a female and one hole a male!!

Thats why all doubles have female names...

Post Extras:

Print Post

Remind Me!

Notify Moderator

Pages: 1

Extra information

0 registered and 38 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator: CptCurl

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Topic views: 4718

Jump to

NitroExpress.com

Powered by UBB.threads™ 6.5.5

Home | Ezine | Forums | Links | Contact

Copyright 2003 to 2011 - all rights reserved