Ingredients:

1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Absolut Vodka

Sample the Absolut to check quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Absolut again just to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar; beat again.

At this Point it's best to make sure the Absolut is still OK; try another cup, just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy, break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in 1 cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Absolut to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something.. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Absolut. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find!

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Absolut and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

HAPPY SNEW EAR!!!!!!