Because it's FUN!

You need it! You want it! You lust for it!
But wait.......there's more (this offer is not available in any store)
If you order now we'll thrown in absolutely free a brand new kitchen twaddler!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as a "surprise gift"

(All the foregoing in a TV type theatrical voice)
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA