Bigdog-

Hang in there man.
Stick close to your loved ones, make sure you're communicating these kinds of feelings you're having with your people. It's important that you let yourself be vulnerable around your family at this time, you have a lot of healing to go through and the only way it's going to happen is for you to stay clear with yourself about how your heart's doing.

Know for sure that you have an ear out this way if you need someone to talk to.

--Tinker