bigdog-

The day my brother, my sister, and my mother's husband and her twin sister got together to level with her on her condition, I sat with her for some time after the others had gone home.

She told me she was afraid to die. I told her that was a good thing, and that was a time for her to have courage -- to get everything she can out of her fear and accept the situation as it was. She asked me why she had to die. All I could tell her was that there was no why. There wasn't any room in the situation to question, simply to accept it for what was present and to be courageous.

We're mortal, really that's what makes life so precious. We never know when it's going to be time for us to go, or for our loved ones to go. This is what makes each moment we get with our loved ones so wonderful.

I'd want to try to help you get that there is no why in this situation. It was time for your boy to go. It's natural for you and for your family to have a great missing around the loss of your son. Allow yourselves to be vulnerable around each other and be courageous in this space you're sharing.
I'm sorry you had to be present to the scene around your boy's accident, I'm sure he knew you were there working to keep him here...

Stick close to your loved ones.
Listen when they need you, call on them when you're in need.
You'll get through this and my offer stands if you need an objective ear.

--Tinker