BD

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I think what makes it hurt more is that you think you as the parent will be the first one to go, not any of your children. I do not know what exactly you are thinking, but I lost my mother to cancer at the end of January and it tore my heart out that I was powerless to ease any suffering or actively fight the battle with her. We are so used to mending cuts, bruises, and bones that it is frustrating when our hands are tied and we have no control. When she did go, and it was inevitable in the last month, it still came as a suprise. You tell yourself she will make it, she will last longer. The family was by her side when she left, talking to her and comforting her. Even though she could not communicate, we could see the reactions to our words. My mother heard me and your son heard you. Take comfort in knowing that when he passed, he knew what he meant to you, and he knew you where there and did all you could. He'll be waiting on the other side, and it will get better.

Adam