much akin to NEs statements, my birthright is that of the hunter.

my fathers family (of which I am genetically a clone... I can voice-dial my dad's cell phone) has been living in north-central nebraska for somewhere well in excess of 120 years... I believe it to be closer to 170. these were the men of the great and wild west, the settlers and pioneers that shaped this great wild country and broke the land to bend to their wills. these men were not trophy or sport hunters like those of today. they were meat hunters.

My father, as a child, rarely ate meat that was not wild game, it was all they could afford. his father, a carpenter and cabinet-maker, did not garner the salary necessary for the luxury of prepared meats... pheasant, quail, venison, ducks, geese... these were the staples of the families diet.

My father wears this scar to this day. despite all his trappings and his social successes, do not doubt his need to kill. He kills somewhat indescriminately, killing is a skill. he shoots an auto-loader at birds so he can kill more of them, he shoots deer quartered away from him at a full sprint. He's a killer, he hunts not for "sport" so much as because it defines him as his father's son, and as heir to the lineage of his bloodlines.

my brothers and I all bear these marks in different ways... my older brother is quite vicious, competitive, without mincing words, violent. My younger brother is efficient, calm, cool, proficient. He kills only when he needs to.

Somewhere in the middle is where I wallow. I see myself developing more as the gentleman sportsman/hunter that many of you seem to be, but I do admit that the desire to simply kill is in my blood. I am cold, calculating, and thorough in my strikes.

The Horn sounded for me 3 years ago, when upon my marraige I accepted and internalized that I was being called on to protect and support my "family" (no kids yet). Rourke's words are prophetic to me, they very succinctly place my desire and drive, and in no uncertain terms my NEED to kill.

Mind you, this is all wrapped in a package acceptable to general civilization... if only they knew