Put it all in a large bright dayglo orange envelope.

Fasten this to the outside of your rucksack and attach a sign in both English and French which reads

"
We are sorry that we offended you and of course we do realise that this is un unstable region surrounded by waring states, where the principles of law, order and reason were abandoned years ago. We did not mean to wander into your little bit of it and realise that our lives of deaths rest on your whim today.

Those are very nice AK 47's and RPG's that you are carrying and we hope that our donation to your cause will enable you to buy lots more. Do also buy some sweeties for those flinty eyed children that travel with you. ( Do you think that being forced to kill their parents with a machete had a disadvantagious effect on their development ?)

The firearms that we are carrying, as you can see, are only for killing animals, we mean you no harm. Don't be silly, of course we are not assasins sent by the government, nor are we CIA or special forces. Dont for a minute think of course that this means we are suggesting that you are irrational or subject to fits of dillusion, that is just the drugs that you are using.

Please take this money, which represents more than you and your men will otherwise see in their entire lifetimes. It is all there so there is no need for me to get naked whilst you search my clothes and belongings. We ask only that you spare our lives and leave us with the GPS and the canteens, without which we are going to wander this bush for days until we run out of drinking water and die hopelessly lost. That is if you have indeed decided not to cut off my penis and make me eat it for amusment "

That should proberbly get the job done. Have a good trip.