Years ago I went to a flash resturant with the bride and being a simple man I thought I'd lash out and try an exotic dish. I saw quail on the menu and said to the waiter "I'll have the quail thankyou" Being all

and such, well he bought me this poor little chook thing (only one of them by the way

) on a large plate. Thinking this to be an entree I was all smiles at the bride, the smile disapeared when the waiter said "enjoy your meal"

Gary is a good mate, a very funny guy with a sense of humor like mine, which is proberly why we get on.
I've grown up reading his stories, like alot of Aussie hunters, and you'd think that concidering the amount of hunting he's done, he'd have his shit squared away hey? BUT (whispering) I'll let you in on a secret.

Gary is a FANATICAL pig chaser and a clumsy bastard!

He gets all excited chasing pigs and falls over at the drop of a hat. Being a fanatical clumsy bastard is not a good combination, take this example. We (Gary, Matt and I) had just jumped a large mob of pigs, Gary and Matt took off I hung back due to a bad knee (and ended up shooting 2 small pigs sneaking away behind us) After about 10 minutes I heard Gary calling and we met up on the edge of the creek Gary said he'd got a medium boar with his 45-70 and Matt had taken off into the long grass after the rest of the mob. We settled in to cool off a bit when we heard Matt calling. Off we rushed, Gary quickly out pacing me. I soon lost sight of Gary not knowing where Gary and Matt where, I played safe and stood behind a large tree. Gary found me after a short wait and looking down I saw the action of his marlin open. It seems as he was leaping through the tall grass like a startled Gazell he went arse up

and buried the muzzel into the dirt. Thinking quickly he grabed a stick to clear the plug of dirt......and promptly broke it off in the barrel

SO now he had no dirt but a stick in his barrel and his son was in the long grass doing battle with a pig

I took the rifle off him and he raced of to help Matt. In the end they killed the pig, Gary proberly fell over a few more times and I cleared the rifle

His nickname's not RTB for nothing.

That's "RIP TEAR BUST" by the way